Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating
Her Sites سيدة Ayeen Violeta Facebook Formspring.me "People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is!" — Ayeen Violeta This is what i am ♥Siti Nur Ain *Ayeen* ♥8th May ♥West ♥Loving ♥Caring ♥Stubborn ♥Attitude ♥Patience ♥An Aunt ♥A Sister ♥A Friend ♥A Good Companion =P Talk to me baby. Dearest Archives September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 Credits Music Playlist at MixPod.com	Wednesday, February 10, 2010 Loneliness and Depression. I am going through something very special at the moment, even though it feels very bad. If I felt myself good and happy all the time, then I would always feel that I'm one with the world, with nature; but then, things happen to me that make me feel bad, lonely and depressed. Then, when I feel like this, I find myself incapable of justifying everything around me as being good. Why? Because I feel bad, and if nature and people around me are supposed to be good-"all-giving and all-loving"-then why would I be made to feel like this? I do not understand why it's turned out this way, or where it came from, where I went wrong, or what I did to deserve such loneliness and depression. Many interpret and justify mine and others' pains however they see fit. But everyone agrees that loneliness and depression makes us wonder about what causes it and what its purpose is. The more we are led into loneliness and depression, isolation and confusion, the more we search according to questions of our life's purpose. We might not even be alone physically,we might be in constant contact with friends, workmates, family, and all sorts of people,but inside us is a space that none of these people can fulfill. This space, this deepest point, works on us by bringing confusion, pain, loneliness and depression, and it expresses itself as the most basic question we could ever ask: "What is the meaning of life?" This question, this desire to discover life's true meaning, stands behind every other question and everything we do in this world. No matter what we do to make ourselves feel good, this question waits for us to pay attention to it in our darkest moments. Wanting to discover the meaning of life is the biggest, greatest desire that can appear, and we have been, or will be, put through so much pain so that we will ask this question and start wanting its true answer. Every desire we have is a certain emptiness that needs to be filled, and so the greatest desire thus gives us the greatest feeling of emptiness. We feel the loneliest and the most separation at the point where we desire the greatest connection, and can't have it. And this isn't just a connection to a beer buddy, family or to the opposite sex, but a connection to life's source, where pleasure would fulfill our deepest yearning abundantly. The meaning of life is to reach such a sensation of the universe during this lifetime, that there will be no difference between life and death in this world and existence in another world, on another plane, in another dimension, when one starts to freely live in all the dimensions, and not just in one's present sensation. Labels: Personal Life Events.
A dream that is so beautiful, and wish that i could never wake up.